days engraved in heart.....

  Days have a speciality when heart cries to end ,they crawl .....
  when mind pleads to stay they just fly..........
               may be my everlasting desire to be back in them, to run again through their vibes is making me go  down the memory lane....as i travel through time with the sweet-bitter events flashing past me ,deep within a longing to feel them again rises ,the desire is so strong so is the pain that they have forever gone away from me...and all i have is their imprints pressed down in to ma heart...........
    14 years of ma lyf in bhavans , ma school and                         memories worth a lifetime.......
                                years ago when i strolled in to ma school i never got the hints that ma heaven was laying there..the place which taught me more than what lay in books.....it opened for  me  a world of ma own..i grabbed the brats who shared ma views , who had the same wild thread around and slowly we got bonded stronger than the feviquick one and rose to the best of best friends...ma most prized acquisition ever....and how right is it with friends even the dullest part of days gets all the hues..tracking down in to those old classrooms which echoes our good old days....the dramas with the wonderous practise sessions wich actually never happened but always gave the excuse to bunk classes, the tv show when we rocked the school, the class programes, the excursions when we sang and danced ourself in to merry, those campfires,the truth or dare games ,the basket ball sessions and the wild idea of playing volleyball from class( of course we were punished!!!but still v dared to! ), the interbhavans nights and all those free periods when we made the best of best times.....perhaps i was one of the luckiest to have such wonderous pack of people in to ma life  with whom i explored, enjoyed, shared, fought, played and ofcourse studied(:P) and made a heaven of those 14 years.......i still remember the last day when the school bus left the corner and i had ma last glimse of ma school as a bhavinite and then the tears that swelled up definetly told me never again i am going to feel the magic of ma school air and the live moments shall now be still but i know forever they shall live in my memories as nothing can ever possibly replace those...as those where the days when we lived to the full!!...miss u bhavans...and of course all ma idiotic friends...without u guys am never the same........:( :)

               

in me forever........

sometimes you tend to develop strong sentiments for certain possessions you have, they grab their place within your heart, they make you feel that they are more than just material stuffs...i guess that's the bond i share with my lady bird!!
       i clearly remember, it was a Sunday morning and the time runs back to several years..like any other Sundays, i got up after my mom gave her last warning call and  imitating my dad opened up the            " Hindu",not to read for sure!!, and my eyes got knotted on the big lady bird picture on the inside page...a pinkish cycle with a basket decorated with flowers in front and i heard myself whisper that i wanted it... actually this desire has taken root in me long back, my cousin sister had a new cycle and everybody was so eager to ride the new one and can't blame her as it was brand new she kept it to herself and after that it was turning to be my dream to possess a new cycle and that advertisement definitively added spark to ma burning desire..and with all this pressed inside ma heart i asked ma dad if i could be the owner of a brand new bsa ladybird..
                i don't remember achan saying yes or no...it was his usual " let's see",and then my hopes were crashing down...usually when ma dad denies me a toy( happens rarely!!),its like am on strike ,but dis time i knew my eyes were filling up but i didn't display ma usual tantrums,perhaps thats what you call growing up...
              days passed and lady bird stopped visiting me in sleep and one evening i was returning home after attending sum friends party ,dusk had fallen and on the way back i met my dad and he was going out and didn't tell me where exactly. i walked  home, upon reaching i was narrating my day's updates to amma and chechi, just when the calling bell rang,i was asked to open the door and asking ma sis "why can't you do that ? "and see her chuckle, i opened d door only to be greeted by a brand new lady bird!!! in the fading golden hues,it was sparkling and when my frame shifted to ma dad ,he had the smile which always told me i was his princess forever and ever...
                                            it was always like that ma dad could read ma thoughts,and always and always he was in to giving me surprises..,perhaps he wanted this gift to remain special memory for ever....jumping with thrill ,huging ma dad ,i ran to take ma dream ride on ma desired wheels...and then i felt the air that was brushing past me was whispering to me to frame the moment forever and to lock it safe within....the yellow golden rays,tinges of black, my house in the backdrop and ma achan ,amma and chechy cheering ..me cycling on my dream wheels,,,CLICK!!!!!

ITS movie tym!!!!

Those days when watching movies leaves an imprint in ones heart are vanishing..,now it's a mix of drama,"comedy",action tightly packed and coated with the flavoured spices to attract the masses and den the movie is forced to "run housefull"....thanks to the flux, the multiple tv shows,the radio jockeys and all those tickets they give as "gifts and prizes" the movie  runs...if not housefull....!!.
                       malayalam film industry definitely had a golden period to its credit...when the scriptwritrs,directors and actors competed with their talents to yield masterpieces.....no wonder those movies and characters still reside within us..any malayalee will find it hard to forget the mohanlal srinivasan movies in 90's, the nagavalli of manichitrathazhu, fazils and sathyananthikad movies....the industry seemed to have travelled a lot from where it stood, though the technological versions have undergone miraculous uplifts,the question of where the quality of the final product stands is indeed a question of debate....
                              lately theater visits are turning to be nightmares, spending money and screwing your three hours. After having a disastrous visit to theater to see chinatown and christian brothers, i promised to myself not to heed to ma friends words and to make ma visits to the theater scarce...but with friends, promises hardly works.. :). i found myself waiting in the queue to watch the new release-
"salt  n pepper"....but this time i went with no expetations and with the newly acquired patience from ma last two theater visits , i settled myself to watch whether " salt n pepper" was sprinkled well or was it going to be just another bad dish churned out...

                                                 the title song itself announces to you about the awaiting feast...perhaps the only film that could set the audience mouth watering within the first few scenes...one can spot the uniqueness the film has from the way the titles and posters r designed...the film dares to walk out from the traditional attires of malayalam movies...unlike the usual trends ie, a story with lot of twists, many characters,the presence of more than one superstars ,this advent from ashiq abu stands way ahead in the saga of movies and is defently a splendid delicious dish from the team...,the way in wich the story unfolds about a small incident ,the making of joans rainbow cake through which the development of the intimacy thread  between kalidasan and maya  is portrayed ,the varied reasons why cooking remains passion for both of them,the humor that is brought forth through baburaj's character and the apt mix of asif alis and mythilis scenes all announces to you that the dish which is being "cooked" is splendid enough to be gobbled happily..
the story line is simple, perhaps that is what it makes it all the more special.each frame is perfect to the core and its hats off to ashiq abu and his crew for their painstaking efforts ... and after those past tragic theater stories " salt n pepper" definitely brought back the mood ..and yes !!! we have promising talents around!!! :)
                                     

a journey- revealed

Its really nice to observe people....their mannerisms, acts,conversations( ps: nt eaves dropping)...and especially if  it is a female crowd, its much more..A one night travel in ladies coupe of train can really give a peep into  the myriad of feminine emotions.

                       It was nearly dusk wen i ran out of my hostel making a futile attempt to manage my four unruly bags and ma roll pack, it had now become usual for me to see people staring on to the stick like roll pack clinging on to me and i had long back stopped answering for their pestering queries on wat exactly it is....panting,exhausted i ran behind an auto and thankfully the driver nodded when i said railway station . It was the day before puja hols and to step on to railway station without a reservation ticket and luggage is one of the most insensible option one could opt for, but  comparing it to the prospect of staying back in hostel with the food which make u guzz everytym wat it is meant to be ,made me believe rushy train rides were loads better....

the road was adorned  by the flashing hues of red and orange vehicle lights,  the cries of desperate horns echoed around and   i knew. the traffic as always had kept its promise of a grand traffic jam ...sitting in the auto,i   checked  my watch a thousand times, as if it would stop the needles frm ticking way,kept on  cursing the damn road regulation like the thousand others who got stuck up over there,.and finally like a snail's move the vehicles started to glide..ma auto driver with his cunning driving skills went past each loopholes and we started to advance , of course we could here the unpleasing "appreciations " zooming  to us,but still we managed to plod on....the only time i got disappointed with the auto driver was when he said the fare ,all ma attempts to convince the guy about the illogical fare he demanded backfired and  when the hooting of the train rang about in air,i handed him his unfair fare and juggling with my luggage ran up the steps to get my tickets, and found myself standing at the end of a long Que., and then  my first train back home said its last goodbye siren and left me all soaked up!
After getting the tickets, i started ma trek up the flight of stairs that led to the fourth platform ,the place where ma train was to come,and moving near to the ladies coupe coach position, i was literally shocked and amazed to see a whole bunch of female figures waiting to pounce on to the train, the count was very much higher than the usual one and much more than wat i had imagined,..getting a seat was out of question, a place to keep my feet became my mission then.
The train arrived with its hooting music and the same emotion that used to grasp me when i stand for running event in sports took root in me and before i could direct myself to do something ,i was carried in the wave of the advancing crowd and shored to one of the compartments,where even light failed to reach  owing to the thick population inside and my journey in  ladies coupe was minutes away........(to b cont) 

silent lament..

No colours seem to seep through...however hard i try ma brushes fail to trap their shades ... the veiling black adorns ma world...even traces of light drifts away from ma path...d cries that rattle in ma heart threatens to escape out...my quest for d lost hues leaves me stranded ...d lonely company of black haunts me and nw i knw i can always bring in the colour of red.... true red...and den....ma lyf will no lngr be monotonous..........

bruises

Sometimes however hard u try certain things keep popping up... even if u bury them deep ...tell yourself a thousand time the same constant lie in the hope of transforming it in to truth.,  the voice inside keep telling you that one day you will have to face it.....the day wen u will find yourself caged with those scary questions zooming towards you..... they may wound you... u may bleed but for sure the pain endured will be just kept within.and on the balancing scale it will only be in the raised level as it can never compete with the awareness dat the very  people for whom you had hidden all your dreams all your hopes .....are pointing at you..... never ever realizing  d fact dat all your acts were just for them... for their smile u had to  let go your laughter.... their questioning urge does have greatest concern hidden...but for once if they would realize the heart which had let go all its dreams ...doesn't have the strenght to bear all...inside the smile it has invisible tears always on flow..i don't want to share the blame..... all i am asking is for time ...the time to rise frm those ashes.....